If I Die Young

*This poem is dedicated to Suicide Prevention Month (which is September). If you’re struggling, please don’t be afraid to seek help. Remember that you’re not alone and we love you!*

If I Die Young

You would have found me like this:

gently laid on my side under my purple floral covers

in my best pajamas—pink and soft like the swaddle

I had as a baby or the one velvet headband

still kept in a white box in one of the dozen

white drawers I used to bruise my knee on

The room would smell of lavender

sweet, floral, woody, herbal all at the same time

like you tried to mix all the best qualities

in a purple petal for me, easy for you as frying noodles

till they sizzle, golden and crisp like a bite of the sun

And still I’d be smiling with

the left corner of my mouth half upturned

a crooked new moon winking;

my left arm crossed over my right the way yours do

my back arched, my legs about to leap into motion

though no more

At least not cut down from the ceiling fan like her

breaking you



Or falling limp in my arms clutching a prescription

I fought to tear out of your wrinkled hands

your clear eyes greying like your silver mane

teaching me one last lesson

before blazing white hospital lights blind me

sirens piercing my ears before I realize it’s my own

wailing, tears flooding my eyes before I could

open them, pink now and throbbing

my chest burning with yearning for air and fear

of losing you again

So if I die young…

No, I won’t

I hope that you can take this opportunity to check on your friends and family, especially those who may be struggling, and let them know that you’re here for them. A little can go a long way. Let’s all help raise awareness and prevent suicides this September!

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