Finding your Inner Self Through Detachment

It is human nature to thrive off of human connection, it is one of the only ways to maintain an enjoyable life. Yet, you may have noticed that a person who made you so happy at a given point in your life no longer speaks to you. The people you thought could not live without in the past are now gone, and even you are not the same person you were before.

We have to come to the realization that everything in this world is temporary and nobody will be there for you forever. Now, hearing this might make us feel alone and isolated. This doesn’t have to be the case, however.

Change is inevitable. The hard part is accepting that change and moving forward with life. The first step to this is to not get completely attached to someone in the first place. For example, people tend to get overly attached to their significant other or their best friends. We heavily rely on these figures, and our moods change based on them and their actions. Sometimes, taking a step back from people is beneficial. Now, I am not saying to cut yourself off from everyone you care about. Rather, think about who you are outside of the company of the other person. It is really easy to have someone in your life who influences all your thoughts and decisions. You may lose yourself if you are always so concerned about what others are doing. The people around you should be there to inspire you, not guide your every move.

Here are some ways you can stray away from attachment:

1. Don’t be afraid to do things yourself. For a lot of us, it can be very hard to step out of our comfort zones unless our friends are also doing it. However, the most inner growth will come when you leave your little bubble and explore on your own. Who knows what you may learn! Go to the park, go to that new cafe you always wanted to go, go join a club on your own!

2. Don’t check your phone for unnecessary periods of time. In this day and age, we all get so caught up in social media, the who-said-what’s, and a lot of pointless drama. Take a break so you don’t keep checking up on people and getting upset when you see them hanging out without you. You could be having a great day at home, but seeing someone’s Snapchat story that looks they’re having so much fun can just ruin it for you. Turn your phone on silent instead!

3. Don’t constantly look to see what others are doing. You are NOT the other person. You have a much different journey than theirs, so why would you want to copy them? In the past, I even used to catch myself agreeing with random things that people said that I didn’t actually agree with. Now that I look back, I realize how pointless that was. I was scared of confrontation, scared of being judged. Once you start doing your own thing and speaking your mind without being influenced by others, it feels so freeing.

These small tips can save you a lot of heartbreak later. When we detach ourselves from these things, we start to develop our own identities. Many people in your life are seasonal in a sense, they will come and go as they please. So if you avoid getting attached in the first place, it will be much easier to let go.

Quarantine is a great place to start doing these things. You don’t have to talk to anyone unless you make the effort to! As constricted as you may feel to be stuck in your house, use this time to work on yourself and come out as a strong, independent human being 🙂 Good luck!

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