I parade around behind my filter
put a smile on my foreign face
handpick my perceived personality
add a touch of constant confidence
to cover the lurking self-consciousness
lengthen my success like model legs
slim down my mistakes like tiny waists
lift my past that’s been holding me back
smooth anxiety like premature wrinkles
erase the depression like dark circles
dealing out fake oxytocin in my brain
fishing for validation in casual comments
knowing that no one would like to see
the real me without the filters
in the selfie mode of the default camera
eyes puffy with perpetual pressure
skin sagged from sleep deprivation
body heavy with self-blame and regret
for the thousands of things that
no one, least of all I, can ever correct
each acme a mood swing, explosive,
contagious, contaminating my image
and Instagram-ready perfect face.
You're Not Alone 